Oh my god, why are you screaming?

There comes a point in time when you think, “OK, I think I’ve gotten the hang of this.” That’s about when the universe throws you a curveball. And do you know what’s a real b**** about these curveballs? The fact that the little human in my life cannot articulate a.ny.thing. and so cannot express to me exactly what might be wrong without just screaming.

Case in point: Nugget did something she has never, ever, ever done in her young life. She woke up screaming in the middle of the night and could not fall asleep for 3 hours. Increments of screaming. Increments of sleeping. It was awful, harrowing, and above all confusing. All week she’s been not herself, but there hasn’t been a sign of illness. Ok, well, no fever I should say. On top of that, her behaviors have been “off” all week. Her naps have gone to hell, she’s become a cranky mess and just hasn’t been as easy to read as before. All predictability was thrown out the window.

Desperation set in immediately because I could not find a reason for her behavior. Why, why?! My need to know things became overwhelming and took over my brain. It’s all I could think about. I’ve been Googling like every other good American does when they have a question and posting like a madwoman on Babycenter.com looking for advice, tips, shared experiences, something. The Man’s been talking and texting with neighbors and, finally, his sister today. She mentioned that her kiddo only acted this way when she had an ear infection. Well, Nugget’s only had one and she had a high fever with that one. But, in looking back at the week, all of her unusual behaviors point to some sort of illness. Screaming bloody murder at night, refusing to lay down, only able to sleep while sitting up, pulling at the hair near her ears…well, we probably should’ve put two and two together a lot sooner.  Oh, and just in case you silently passed judgement on my Googling, I will have you know I learned only 30-50% of children actually develop a fever with an ear infection. So after a quick email to the doc, we’re headed to see him tomorrow morning. I’ve never hoped for an ear infection more in my life. It would lend a reason, finally, to everything that’s gone awry in our lives this week and set us on a path to healing.

And god help me if there is no ear infection. God help me…