Psst! Wake up. Just checking if you’re asleep…

I’m a little afraid to write this. Actually, I’m a lot afraid to write this. Not because I’m sharing some dark secret or embarrassed or exposing some ridiculous habit, but because it has to do with Nugget’s sleep. And if there is anything I absolutely do not want to jinx, it’s that.

I’ve spent the last 9 months of my life learning about all things baby sleep. I even resolved myself to the fact that I will not get a solid night’s sleep for the next few years, that I will have to get up at least two (if not three) times each night to comfort or nurse Nugget and these are the cards I was dealt. I’m not resentful nor angry, and I’m not even tired anymore. I’ve always said, “She’s such a happy and content child that if this whole sleep thing is the worst part of it, then whatever.” And I meant it, I swear! I mean, I mean it. I swear!

Of course, then Sunday night came and I didn’t hear a peep from her in 9 hours. 3am came, I nursed her and she went back down till 6. Ok? There. I’ve put it out there. I even waited three nights before writing this to make sure it was a pattern and not a fluke. Although I’m still waiting for her to pop up at any moment, practically laughing at me for believing this was going to last. I don’t know… All I know is I keep mimicking everything I did Sunday night for fear one slip up will render this whole thing awash.

Bath, lotion, onesie, sleep pants, sleep sack, nurse, story, bed.

Wait! Did I use the right lotion? Did I use the lavender or the California Baby or the lavender California Baby? Did I snap the onesie left to right or right to left? Oh my god, I can’t remember if I lotioned up her legs or not?! What if that messes everything up?! What if lotioned legs makes or breaks it? Jeezus, I’ve totally messed up her sleep pattern and we’ll never get it back! WHAT IF IT NEVER COMES BACK?

So there you have it. For 3 nights so far Nugget has slept a long, long time. Something I’m loving and cherishing and generally trying to embrace even though I’m pretty much just waiting for the rug to be ripped out from under me.

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